It all led us right here. Everything. Every step, every sentence, every kiss, deep breath, mile, wave. Every moment. Every single moment we have collected has led us to where we are right now. The ones we hold close and treasure, and the ones we keep hidden and tucked away in the back of our minds; The ones that meant the world at one point, but we have since forgotten all about, and the ones we wish we could forget about, that hang around uninvited. None of it made any sense or happened in chronological order. Nothing was found on neatly written lists or timely schedules. It was the spontaneous adventures, the mistakes, and risks, combined with wherever you were supposed to be and whatever you should have been doing there. It’s what actually happened, and it was life. Living led us here.
For me, here is sitting in the cozy living room of an Air B and B that my mom accidentally rented, after a marathon of a week. I have this pine green mug filled with my favorite red wine (josh cab). The mug says something about eating more fruits and vegetables on it, which is hilarious because I just finished off my nutrition degree. I think about stealing the mug but I don’t. My boyfriend, best friend, soul mate person has a matching wine filled mug in hand and his beard smells like rain and cigars. My friend who is about to be my new roommate for the summer, and my friend who is about to be my past roommate from this school year are there too. It’s so funny how only a couple years ago all of us were strangers and how we all met accidently. I had a hard time actively seeking friends in college, and the best ones just appeared. Life will do that to you, if you simply live without thinking too much about it. But anyways, we all arrived separately, and all arrived with taco bell/KFC. We are eating half cold potato wedges and are meticulously constructing a playlist for the summer apartment, that I still can’t believe we found. 468 Wickenden. The playlist theme is indie music and 90’s throwbacks only, the mood is cooking dinner and dancing around the kitchen on a rainy summer night. It makes my heart happy.
Rachel and I are going to be so broke and so happy. We are going to work food service jobs and find the meaning of life. I’m going to write about it all and hopefully use my science degree by the fall. But honestly, who ends up with a meaningful life and career that actually relates to the degree they were forced to choose at age 18. We are cat-sitting 3 different kitties throughout the next 3 months and have a waffle maker and access to the roof. We are living with two art students. Their art is all over the house and they-I mean we, have this second living room without any furniture. “We just use that room to make things in”. I can’t wait to sit in the center of all the emptiness and to feel so full and to make a life. We are young and irresponsible and confident and brave. We are going to live our best lives.
So we are finalizing this playlist masterpiece and singing along and Jewel is playing or something along those lines, and Brett ran out to his car to grab his guitar. He was the roommate I had never met before last September and I was definitely skeptical. He comes off like a douchey frat bro with an overactive ego and everything else I hate but nobody is ever how they “come off”. He’s actually pretty sweet, with some misguided political views (we had to explain to him that “pro-choice” does not mean “pro-abortion” and that “abortion” does not mean murdering 2 year old infants). Besides that, we are usually more alike than we are different, and that goes for most people I have met recently. He isn’t actually in a frat at all, has a huge crush on this girl, and loves his mom and his dog more than he loves himself. Oh and he plays guitar. So he is playing along by ear to whatever song we play and we are all singing because what else do you do when everything is ending and beginning all at once? We were too loud and left empty bottles all around the rented space. We stayed up far too late and Rachel had work in the morning and Chris and I were sore from packing and cleaning and driving around all day. Brett was supposed to be on his way home to Connecticut. But we all stayed up and stayed over in that little house we had all accidently acquired for the night. I fell asleep singing.
So this is life today and what life will be for now, and just like the accidental Air B and B rental brought us there, so had every other accidental thing we have done in that past 4 years. Missing housing applications and asking a friend from jazz class and a stranger of his choosing to live with you; Over-enthusiastic drunk encounters at Jewish frats and St. Patrick’s Day parades, and while hosting 90’s themed darties on Sundays. It was working in pizza shops and spontaneous beach trips, driving to mountains and cities and concerts and screaming to the best music on the longest rides. It was dancing on tables, posing on park benches, flying across oceans. It was the big adventures and the small ones too, and all the bars and coffee shops we sat it, danced it, talked in, cried and laughed about. We collected beer mugs, seashells, and moments. We shared money, time, wine, and love, when we barely had enough for ourselves. We ignored directions and followed our hearts and we went and continue to go wherever our souls feel whole and that fill the holes in our hearts. Everything we did brought us here and will bring us wherever we will go. Nothing this good can be planned or on purpose, nothing planned or on purpose is real life. Cheers to more life, to more living,
To be continued….