You all put me on shelves and pick me up when you are bored or lonely or remember I’m there. I’ve made these shelves my home and grown old and dusty and only brush myself off and pick myself up on your time. I wait around and work around your schedules. I am there when you need me and there when you want me and I think the old me, mistook that for seeing you when I needed and wanted you. But I don’t need anything. I need myself and I can’t be there for me if I am left to rot on anyone else’s shelf. I have big plans and thing’s to do and I don’t have the time for this anymore. When you remember I am there, and decide you are in the mood for me out of all the other shelf girls, you won’t be able to find me. I’ll be so far gone and my heart won’t have room for you. My words will be used to make changes and big important beautiful things, bigger and more important and beautiful than you. My energy will be 10 mile runs and mountaintop hikes and ocean swims and there won’t be any left for you. I won’t have money for a train, bus, gas, it will be spent on concerts and adventures, tattoos, so many books, and over priced coffee, all are so much more satisfying and lasting. Next time you reach for me I’ll be in Spain. Next time you need me I will be too busy writing a book to respond. Next time you are lonely I will be the opposite. I will be surrounded by people who take me places and show me things and show me off and never want to hide me away or put me aside for safe keeping. I am starving for more and for real and I can’t sit still. I am too full of life to be half loved. 


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