SHEDDING SEASON

Since the last time I felt like this, I have had three different hair colors, I have grown it out longer than you ever got to see it and then I cut it all off. I have gained and lost 15lbs, I have had two new phones that your contact has never been added too, I have gotten a scar and two tattoos, have torn up and burned all my writing you never read, on the beach you’ve never been to, and written so much more about things you have never experienced with people you have never met, have found and lost and reunited with friends, have cried and laughed and screamed out of anger and joy more times than I can count, have been a dysfunctional flirt and a functional alcoholic, but also a goddess and a queen, a tree hugging, dirt worshiping, trap queen at that, and then back to myself again, a better version of myself  than I was before all of that, because those idiot things that happened to me and the things I happened to taught me more than I’ve learned in any class. I have failed and passed organic chemistry without your help, I have fallen out of love with so many people and so in love with myself, more than you ever loved me, have improved my music taste by listening to music you wouldn’t like, read more books that you wouldn’t understand, watched more movies you wouldn’t have the attention span for, I have left the country and stood on land you most likely never will, jumped in oceans and hit rock bottom, lower than you have even seen me, but have also become so much better than you’ve ever seen me, have spent all my money and made it all back, I have moved twice, and got a job in the city and signed a lease and finally scheduled my license test. I can go to meetings and make phone calls now and I have a nicer car than you and I don’t eat animals anymore. Almost everything you loved about me is gone and I am so much better for it. Maybe I don’t feel the same as last time, maybe I feel better. Human skin replaces itself every 27 days, so really you haven’t even touched me, and I can’t wait until he does.

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